When I look at fashion bloggers’ outfit posts I always feel like crying because I’m not just skin and bones and I don’t have a million miles long legs. I just never feel like I fit in. I’m super disproportional, my legs and arms being too short, my upper body too long and my forehead and head in general just being too big for the rest of my body. My hair is not long enough. I have short, stubby legs with nobly knees and way too fat calves (and I know I do, ’cause it’s super uber rare for me to find boots that zip up) I just feel fugly.
You know when you put on some clothes and you think ‘yes, I like this, I feel confident and good looking’ and then you look at pictures and you’re like WHAT THE F*CK WAS I THINKING?! That. That’s me every time I look at pictures of myself.
I wish I could be skinnier. Like about a stone lighter. And I’ve trying my best to do the 5:2 diet combined with the 30 day shred, but I think even if I lost the weight that I want to lose, I still would never look at myself the way I look at other girls, mainly because I feel like a little, hideous bumble bee compared to them.
I’m sorry that I don’t have happy thoughts to share at the moment, but I guess I just wanna be honest with you guys. This is how I feel and I think sharing this sometimes really helps or at least so I hope. I’m sorry for being such a buzz kill.
On a positive note, I’ve finally learnt how to curl my hair with straighteners! Hurrah. Small victories.